Games Meet Metal: It's like Devil May Cry, but on crack and with boobies

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's like Devil May Cry, but on crack and with boobies


 I was the lucky recipient of an early access code to the demo of Sega's AAA action title, Bayonetta. Actually, I was considering my level of luck here. After seeing a few game screens, I was really skeptical, almost to the point of being cynical. Every screen I saw, the same thought kept creeping up: "Yow, this thing is just too damn stylish fo me. I just don't think I would ever play it."

Well hey, guess what? I'm a cynical douchebag. I'm also completely wrong.

You want a quick opinion of the demo? How about "complete eye-gasm?".


Bayonetta wastes no time in throwing you the eye candy. Everything in this game is shined and spruced to perfection, including the bad guys. Hell, even the dirt has a cover of gloss over it. Even more fantastic are the game's backgrounds, which are so fantastic that they almost take you away from the main game.

The real treat, though, is the game play. Like the title to this blog suggests, the developers, most of which programmed the Devil May Cry series, took that game's fighting style and revamped it for our new lead heroine. Less on the swordplay, more on the gun-kata in heavy doses. And Bullets. Lots and lots of bullets. Bayonetta is also quite the hand-to-hand fighter, with enough punch and kicks to make Chuck Norris dizzy. Her most graphic moves are Torture Attacks. These are mash-button events that help materialize torture devices to give your enemies some hella fatalities. Guillotines, iron maidens, huge spiked wheels, or just simple metal chains. The ways to eviserate your enemies is varied, brutal, and incredibly fun to use.

There are a few downsides, though. As I feared, the Japanese influence is real heavy here, so get ready to hear a lot of J-pop while playing. Plus sometimes, the action is just so fast and frantic that you lose sight of your character or are just a little puzzled as to what she's doing at the moment. However, the variety in the combat and the beautiful graphics made me look past the negatives and see a great game I once doubted.

In short, I turned from a grouchy cynic into a supporter thanks to this demo. So much so, that I'll probably be picking up this game upon release (thank you Amazon store credit). Now, I just have a question. If Sega can make something this awesome, how come they can't do this shit for Sonic? Huh? Can someone help me here? Can I get a witness?

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