Games Meet Metal: Um, Ozzfest? Hello? Ya There?

Click a button to quick-search the awesomeness.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Um, Ozzfest? Hello? Ya There?

I remember going to my first Ozzfest back in 1999, a primitive time when man was just figuring out how to start a fire and how to tip strippers properly. Nu-metal was the slice du-jour of the time, Ozzy wasn't a total parody of himself yet, and Ozzfest was something to be enjoyed. Hell, it was something to be proud of. Sure, you had to crawl your way through some drek (they had to put something there for everyone to take a pee break), but squint and you saw greatness. Slipknot and System of a Down long before the platinum albums, Rob Zombie and the Deftones sharing the same stage, and the Black Sabbath reunion we all dreamed about.

With the exception of a personally bankrupt 2000, I've attended every year since. for me, they were all a hoot (except for that 2003 lineup). The bands, the side stages, the vendors, the over-priced hamburgers, the humidity, the tanned shapely women who wear as little as possible. Oh, it was good times.

Then, in 2007, things got weird.

An entirely free tour? Well, gee, why not? I hate paying money! The whole downside to that was a big fat cash drought for the promoters. In 2008, things got weirder, as the purse strings were tied even tighter. There wasn't even a proper tour. Just one mega show in Dallas. Okay, that one show had Metallica, but I live in Michigan, and Dallas just wasn't in my driving area. So I had to go without for a year. Wait, did I say a year? I meant TWO years, as 2009 simply didn't have an Ozzfest at all. I was able to get by with the Mayhem festival and a "more metal that it should be" Warped Tour, but I longed for my Ozzy-fronted metal fest.

Well, my wishes have been granted. Ozzy himself confirmed earlier this year that Ozzfest will return to it's proper amphitheater touring ways this summer. Oh joy, says I! More overpriced hamburgers! So I waited for a touring lineup and concert dates... and waited...... and waited.... and, well shit, it's almost April now? And no news whatsoever? WTF?!?!

Oh, I've got a bad feeling about this. Hey, I'm glad Ozzfest is at least attempting a comeback, but they have one major problem right at their doorstep: a lack of available acts. Mayhem fest is rolling out again and have stolen away a ton of Ozzfest regulars (Hatebreed, Rob Zombie, Korn, Lamb of God). Warped Tour has ramped up the metal even more this year. Seriously, Whitechapel is touring on Warped. A death metal band. On a PUNK TOUR! There's the American Carnage tour, which has Slayer, Megadeth, and Testament, so they're all busy this summer. Now there's word of another fest called the Rock Star Uproar, and they'll be stealing away Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold, and Stone Sour.

So where does that leave Ozzy's little tour? Answer: kind of in the shitter. About the only main stage worthy act not doing much this summer is Alice In Chains, but they might just say "fuck it" and go tour Europe instead. And with most of the real good second stage acts taken up by Mayhem and Warped, Ozzfest is looking pretty lame.

Like I said earlier, I'm glad Ozzfest is attempting a comeback, but it looks like it might be a sad attempt. If the acts are coming up short, then I'd rather wait another year for a proper tour lineup than just take all the crap that's left over. Hey, it's my money going towards a ticket, and I want the best bang for my buck. Hell, I even want the tour to be financially successful again.

I just have some severe doubts.


  1. Yeah, that Dallas show was pretty sweet. I hope it comes back too but I'm not sure I'd be willing to pay the outrageous $150 I did for that show for anyone below Metallica caliber. Actually I am sure: I would not do that for anyone below Metallica caliber. Speaking of the A list, any word on Maiden tix?

  2. Maiden tickets should be on sale where you are. I bought mine last week.