Games Meet Metal: Well, THAT took fucking long enough! Dragon Age Origins: The Riff Kind-of Review?

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Monday, March 8, 2010

Well, THAT took fucking long enough! Dragon Age Origins: The Riff Kind-of Review?


After having the game since early Novermber, I just finally defeated the archdemon in Dragon Age Origins, thus saving the land of Ferelden from the darkspawn Blight and letting the commoners go and be all common with each other and such. But why take so long to complete the game, you say? Over 5 months? The hell's wrong with you? You don't have a life, boy, thus you should of had this shit beat in a fortnight! What gives?

Well, just one sticking point was bugging me: I wasn't digging it one bit way back in November.

 You see, I decided to be a human warrior. Big axe, big shield, big armor, just a whole lot of big. In role-playing games, I like using my big swords so that I can slam them in to heads of bad guys, thus making the bad guy die a gruesome death. And if I;m really lucky, all the bad guy's buddies will see this and promptly flee the scene, while also soiling themselves and thus have to buy all new armor on their next trip to the Armorer's. However, this is my usual option for most advenurey role playing stuff, and Dragon Age just knows how to make that style of combat so damn boring!

After slogging a week or two through the game, I shelved the damn thing, determined to finish the damn thing one of these days. Then a month or two passed. Then another month or two. Yeah, I just wasn't caring. Then a co-worker, after hearing my tale of woe and boredom, informed me that playing as a mage is a much more rewarding experience, as you can keep your distance and still zap baddies in the scrotum with lightning. Me, not being to fond of characters who think a cotton shirt can double as armor, thought this was silly idea. But my co-worker was insistent, and even offered me a hint: in time, you'll be able to be an arcane mage!

Zuh? A super powerful magic caster that can wear heavy armor and carry swords the size of the Warren Report? Dammit, where's my game? I need to start quest grinding NOW!!

And gee, guess what? Playing as a mage is hella fun! Stay away, throw some fire and rocks at the baddies, heal a guy or two, and let the other super armored fighters do the dirty work for you. Granted, that means I received way fewer blood stains on my Hanes 100% cotton wifebeater, but at least it made it washer safe. Then when I was finally able to be an arcane mage, something struck me: I really enjoyed the journey the second time around.

I had a blast killing the bad guys. I got real into the tactics menu and strategizing fights. I took special delight in the fatality killings you can do to bigger foes. I enjoyed doing the bazillions of quests you were handed by the townsfolk. And the knights. And the mages. I'd say that it would be a cash cow for me to set up a part time agency in the dark ages, but they have those too! And they are also run by the townsfolk, mages, and knights. Hell, even the in-game church has their own help wanted board.

If you read this far, you would of noticed that I didn't really go too in-depth into the control schematics or graphics detail or plenty of other things that people with real reviewing gigs write about. But since the game was released way back in last year, I decided not to bore you with a ton of crap you've probably already read, so instead I just went into my own experiences with the game. A little change now and then is good for the eyes, no?

In conclusion, the game gets a score of Rippin! If only the warrior bits were more interesting. Still, even though the game is beat, it's not finished. Bioware still has plenty of stuff planned for the game, with an expansion pack due here very soon, and who knows how much more downloadable content is gonna be released in the coming months. In the end, the game will be complete, in about 2 years.

Just in time for the sequel.

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