Games Meet Metal: April 2010

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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Sadly, there were no worn leather battle suits my size.

The Finnish Metal Tour Featuring Finntroll, Moonsorrow, and Swallow the Sun
 Wed. April 14 2010 @ Blondie's

Oh boy, a rarity! Not only is this a show with an entire line-up that I've never seen, it's also at a venue I've never been to. All-new music mixed with all-new metal club = WIN!! Hell, the fact that I can type "new metal club" and mean it is incredible, since it takes balls opening any bar in this economy, whether it sides with evil metal or not. Plus, it doesn't hurt that the place is pretty nice looking. Blondie's is a revamped floor on the second level of a decommissioned factory just west of downtown Detroit. And I'm not joking that it's the only thing around in that area. That area of Detroit is well known for all it's shuttered factories, as well as it's huge rave scene. Rent a huge empty building, get enough strobe lights and glow sticks to choke an elephant, a DJ, and you're making money hand over fist. But this is Blondie's where metal rules, and while the place looks great, it's awfully small. Makes for a great intimate show though.

Okay, on to how the show was! Little note first: I was able to bring a camera to the show, but it was just a regular digital camera, and my technical genius only goes so far. Ask me to rewire your home entertainment system, and we're all set. Get me to use a camera, and we have problems. In other words, these ain't the greatest shots in the world, and for the first bit of snaps, I forgot to eliminate the date stamp. So you've been warned.

Oh, gee, look, they're touring together. What a surprise. (end sarcasm)

So, it's officially been posted. About time too. I was getting tired of all those viral videos. So yeah, Mastodon, Deftones, and Alice in Chains are going on the road together, for a short little jaunt come September and October. Two surprising things here:

1. This is one real short tour. You'd think these three bands together would pull some major bank with a longer tour, but maybe other commitments are keeping them from doing just that.

2. Usually, short mega-tours like this bypass Detroit. The usual reason is that the bands would of come through already, and these tours help with business in 2nd market areas. But hey, they wanna bring them through, then I won't bitch.

And now, how about some tour and on-sale dates??

16-Sep Chicago, IL Charter One Pavilion, on-sale May 22
17-Sep Detroit, MI DTE Energy Center, on-sale May 22
18-Sep Toronto, ON Molson Amphitheatre, on-sale May 20
20-Sep Uncasville, CT Mohegan Sun, on-sale May 22
22-Sep Boston, MA Agannis Arena, on-sale May 22
24-Sep New York, NY Madison Square Garden, on-sale May 22
28-Sep Atlanta, GA Lakewood Amphitheatre, on-sale May 22
1-Oct St. Louis, MO Scottrade Arena, on-sale May 22
4-Oct Denver, CO Red Rocks, on-sale May 22
7-Oct Vancouver, BC GM Place, on-sale May 15
8-Oct Seattle, WA Key Arena, on-sale May 22
9-Oct Portland, OR Memorial Coliseum, on-sale May 22
16-Oct Las Vegas, NV The Joint, on-sale May 22

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

NILE TOUR!! NILE TOUR!!

The one and only I time ever saw Nile was on the free Ozzfest of 2007. It was a glorious 30 minutes of awesomeness, but still, only 30 friggin' minutes. That's barely enough time to get the band warmed up, much less play a set packed enough to get even more people interested. Even so, they got a new fan that day. I bought their cd, met the band, and all was good. I then awaited the day that Nile would play a headlining show in my neck of the woods.  And I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Jeezy Creezy guys, you guys just hate coming through here or something? I mean, three years? Wait, I know. It's the lack of pyramids and no dead pharaohs. If that's the case, then Chicago must have tons of that stuff just laying around. Wrigley Field was probably built on top of a tomb or two.

Well, someone must have lied and said Tutankhaman (or however the hell you spell that guy's name) is buried in the D because Nile have a new tour, and they're FINALLY rolling through here, as well as a few other places as well. And look, they're bringing friends in the form of Ex Deo, Psycroptic, Keep of Kalessin, and Pathology. They must be the archaeologist team.

All your ancient curse-filled dates after the jump.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Gruesome Twosome Tour: Another Disturbying Concert Review

Last night was the first show of The Gruesome Twosome Tour featuring the legend Alice Cooper and the prodigy Rob Zombie. Leading up to the show my friends and I were trying to figure out who would be going on first, and how toned down the opener's act would be compared to the headliner. I did a little research and I discovered that Alice Cooper would be continuing his Theatre of Death show on this tour and Rob Zombie would be promoting the release of Hellbilly Deluxe 2. I haven't had the chance to see either artist perform in the past, so I was really looking forward to this show since the announcement. It didn't really matter to me who took the stage first, I just wanted to make sure that I got there on time. Word came down that Alice would be on just before 7:00pm and Zombie would be on at 8:40ish with plans to be done around 10:00. So, I booked it home after work, threw the first clean concert shirt I could find and headed to the concert as doors opened at 5:45!

Rotting Christ's AEALO-The Riff Review

Awhile back, I was thinking of the Roman legion. I was considering what their "metal" might have sounded like. I pictured something not in the pure death metal sense, but more groove oriented, with not-too-complicated solos and a decent beat you could march to. Somebody screaming in war cries that could be mean-spirited even in Latin would of been nice. You knw, the type of music you would wear an ornate helmet for while you held back a Celtic horde and prayed to Zeus at the same time.

Little did I know that Greece had the answer I was looking for.

DEATH IS COMING!! But first, birth.

First off, congrats to contributor Amebix on the birth of his 2nd son last night. 3rd kid overall, so you know that the dude's got super sperm. Now, get the kid home and get to writing more, ya punk!

Bundles of joy from the stork aside, there's still evil metal to yap about, and yesterday brought another little package of awesome: the full announcement of Summer Slaughter dates! Summer Slaughter is all about death metal, from the technical style to the basic Cannibal Corpse rip-offs, but this year it's leaning more towards technical and even a little bit of grind in the mix. Personal faves of the bunch: a reunited Decapitated, The Faceless, All Shall Perish, and The Red Chord. I'm also interested in seeing Carnifex, mainly because the metal community keeps shitting on them, and I love a good trainwreck

Oh yeah, tour dates! Take a look after the jump.




Monday, April 26, 2010

Animals as Leaders- a solo guitarist that even a drummer can love



A few years ago I would have never guessed that instrumental progressive metal would ever reach a non-musician audience. Yet somehow it seems like Animals as Leaders may do just that. Tosin Abasi, formerly known best for his guitar wizardry in Reflux, manages to avoid the cheesy wankery of typical solo guitar records while remaining cutting edge, virtuosic and above all, catchy to the untrained ear.

8-bit Metal Mondays: One Email Woulda Been Nice

So, this afternoon, I check ye olde Gmail account for the site, and it's overflowing with news stories. Or I should say, STORY. The STORY is that on the American Carnage tour, both Megadeth and Slayer are going to perform an album of theirs in their entirety. For Megadeth, it'll be Rust in Peace. Nothing new there, an they've been doing that with their recent 2nd market tour. At least that means their chops will be up for the next jaunt. Slayer will be dusting off Seasons in the Abyss themselves. Yes! Live version of Blood Red and Born of Fire!

So, to help celebrate this announcement, and the ability of people to write the same email over and over again, here's bleepy versions of songs from both legendary albums. Tour dates after the jump too.





Cynic's Re-traced: The Riff Review

There's one similarity that I make regularly, and that's comparing certain songs or full cd's to Opeth's Damnation. The point I'm generally trying to make is that the band in question did something out of left field, and it really worked. Damnation, a collection of songs showing Opeth's softer side, is either loved or hated by their fan base, but you'll find that the love is much stronger. Why? Because it worked. In fact, it was nearly flawless. So, from that point on, any band that does a little something out of left field, either in a song or an entire album, I'll always be comparing it to Damnation, as it's the benchmark of throwing a curve ball at your core audience.

Unless you want think about Metallica's St. Anger, and who wants to think about that?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Street Fighter? Meet angst-ridden teen drama.

Ratt's Infestation: The Riff Review

As I've stated before, I have a soft spot for certain hair metal. The glam rock of the 80's was where a zit-covered younger version of myself got his first taste of metal, long before Metallica and Megadeth would corrupt me even further. While there's a huge glut of 80's stuff I would never touch again today (I still question my sanity as to why I bought Winger on cassette), there's still a few that I still gladly listen to. Motley Crue, Skid Row, and of course, Ratt are on that list. Now for the most part, I found most of the new material from these bands to be quite horrible. Crue's last album was acidic vomit on cd, and any music with Skid Row that doesn't feature Sebastian Bach isn't worth my time or yours.

Then Ratt releases Infestation, and becomes the C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER of new crappy metal music. In other words, this shit's rockin!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Bad tour name, good line-up

The Cool Tour. Really? The "Cool" Tour? So, there wasn't any other name y'all could think of? Like, at all? "Cool" Tour. Bet that took an entire afternoon.

Shitty tour names aside, this is an amazing line-up. As I Lay Dying, Underoath, Between The Buried and Me, Blessthefall, The Acacia Strain, Architects, Cancer Bats, War of Ages, the Soundgarden reunion, Barry Manilow, Kid Rock, Lil Kim, and it's all hosted by the risen Jesus. Okay, the last few are silly, but that's still one packed line-up. Are the openers only getting 15 minute sets or something?

On a side note, this officially kills off my guess for As I Lay Dying being on Ozzfest, with this tour taking up most of their summer time. Oh, and if anyone from the Ozzfest camp is reading this, then any day now would be great to get said line-up revealed. To quote Monty Python, GET ON WITH IT!

Dates for the "The letters are fifteen cents a piece on a poster, so make the name small" tour after the jump.

Hello, empty checking account. I missed you!

Oh, damn you Microsoft and Bungie! How dare you dangle stuff like this over my nose while I'm actively trying to SAVE money? Recession, hellooooo! Aw, you don't care though. You know I'm gonna buy it.

Speaking of "it", what you're looking at to the left there is the Legendary edition of Halo Reach, and this sucker's priced at $149.99. So, what do you get in the package? Besides the inability to pay the electric bill? Well, for starters you get that sweet looking Spartan troup mural thingie, designed by Mcfarlane Toys. Plus, you get the Limited version of the game itself, which you can pick up for $79.99 by itself. Inside the game case is all the usual bells and whistles. A making-of doc, a bunch of exclusive swag goodies, and some keen DLC armor upgrades. Then all of this gets packages in a look-a-like USC cargo container. The whole package sounds like it's busting near twenty pounds at this point.

The set will be out on September, er, something-or-other. Microsoft still hasn't bashed out a release date yet, but September's looking to be the month. Also, don't forget to get in on the free beta for Reach starting on May 3rd.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dillinger Escape Plan's Option Paralysis: The Riff Review

CD of the year. That's it. Thank you, drive home safely, and please tip your waitress.

.....uh what? You want more? Okay, but that waitress is getting a smaller tip!

Jizz-worthy tour with way-too familiar symbol

So, here's the skinny: there's this teaser site, Blackdiamondskye.com, with a big old timer on it. The clock ends on May 3rd, and will reveal a new tour. Now, the rumor bug says the tour will have Alice In Chains, Deftones, and Mastodon. If that ends up being true, then that'll be pretty fucking awesome. All the tour would need is a big set of tits and it would be perfect! There's also a teaser trailer, and if you listen closely, you can hear some Mastodon being played in the super remixed audio, so at least that's one out of the way.

But my real question is this: why are they showing the Triforce from Zelda at the end of the teaser? Is Nintendo a sponsor? Did someone want to be an uber-nerd? Begging for a lawsuit? Either way, we'll know come May 3rd. In the meantime, check out the trailer, and see if you can hear any Alice in Chains or Deftones. I tried, and I can't hear shit.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Marvel Vs. Capcom 3? Why, yes, thank you. And some more please!

A surprise press release just popped up in the GMM inbox, and it's a humdinger. Well maybe it's not really that much of a surprise. Capcom just had their Captivate event, where they revealed a bunch of their new titles for the coming year and next. Too bad for us that there was an embargo on the info, thus not a bit of what was revealed at the event would make it to the rest of the world...... until today apparently. Anywho, onto the main jist.



Marvel Vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds, has been officially announced! No exact date has been given, but a "spring 2011" for PS3 and 360 window was stated in the press release.  Other than that, information is pretty light right now. The above pic shows the first of the playable characters, with plenty more being teased behind them. There's also a teaser trailer, but the versions I've found for it all have badly synced audio. But, if you're the masochistic type, then please, go right ahead:



A few other games got their little introductions in, so let's do some quick-hit uninformed opinions:

Okamiden: The sequel to the good Zelda clone Okami, and it's gonna be on the DS. I was a big fat nerd for Okami, so I can see the same happening for the sequel. Too bad the release date is a bland "2011". Blech.

Bionic Commando: Rearmed 2: Whoa! This one jumped out of nowhere. An Xbox Live/PSN title for Q1 2011, and it's in 2D! YES! If the big box version of Bionic Commando has taught us anything, it's to keep that shit away from 3D!

Ghost Trick Phantom Detective: Interesting. A puzzle game from the people who did the Ace Attorney games. You play a ghost with amnesia trying to solve his murder. Hey, wasn't there a movie like this a little while back? Me thinks somebody's ripping off plot ideas.

There was also an assortment of DLC at the show. A prologue for Dead Rising 2, new multiplayer maps for Lost Planet 2, and a tournament mode for Super Street Fighter 4. All well and good, but that tournament mode is what caught my eye. I used to host SF2 tournaments at my house in my youth, so maybe this can help relive my adolescence, minus the acne.

Monday, April 19, 2010

8-bit Metal Mondays: FUCK WE GOT (almost) ROBBED!!

So, it's near close at my work last night, and a couple walks into the store to order. The chick goes to use the bathroom, and the man orders. Nothing weird yet, I start making their stuff up, and I hear a muffled noise. Real muffled, since I was next to the oven, and any noise going through that area is barely audible. Anyways, she reappears, they grab their food, and make a b-line for the road. That just screams suspicious to me.

So I go in the back and check what's up, and it's a mess. This bitch went into the lady's john, used the sink to crawl into our drip ceiling, and made the ceiling collapse in our office. I'm surprised the sound wasn't louder. Hell, it probably was, but that damn over sure wasn't helping. It's obvious they were looking for money, but everything was stashed in our safe, which is always locked. So boo hoo for them. But then boo hoo for me, as dickhead snagged my cell phone and Ipod while I was making their food and my back was turned. Since they booked so quick, and the cops didn't get there until 20 minutes later, there's no chance of these little shits getting caught, which bites balls. The phone had a replacement plan, but the Ipod, not so much.

So, in wanting to make this 8-bit Metal Monday topical, I looked for a song about thievery. As it turns out, metal is a little light in the subject of stolen goods. You can take someone's soul, their heart, or their integrity in the metal world, but stealing their personal belongings just doesn't seem to be a major topic of discussion. Hey, metal world, get on that shit! The closest I could find was Chimaira's Eyes of a Criminal. A personal favorite, but no 8-bit version!

So, I went in a different direction. Here's a bleepy version of tech metal masters Preiphery's All New Materials. After losing some of my beloved techy toys, I'm gonna need some new materials myself.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Old Games With New Metal Kicks-Debut Konami Edition!

Hey, a new weekly column! Rejoice!

Back in my formative years as a young metalhead, I would routinely turn down the volume of whatever game I was playing and turn the evil inside my little boom box radio all the way up. The reason was that I needed my metal all the time, even if this meant drowning out Zelda's theme song. In some cases, I found the music would occasionally really sync up with the game rather nicely. It kind of made me wish I could turn the music off, but leave the sound effects on, so I could have a totally new experience. The original Xbox was the first system that actually let you do that, by ripping cd's to the machine's hard drive.

But what if you could retroactively do it? What tunes would you plop into Super Mario or Sonic? Would old school Final Fantasy be more suited for prog or hair metal? That's what I'm going to explore in this column. Every week, I'll dig up three classics from the past and pick the best evil band to go along with them.  For our first edition, we'll do a triple hit with Konami. And we'll start with a humdinger of a title.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Remebering Peter Steele

I first listened to Type O Negative in the summer of 1994. Christian Woman was making the radio rounds in Detroit, and I just couldn't get into it. I couldn't see what the big deal was. I thought it was just some deep voiced guy singing about an ex-girlfriend he schtooped. Then Black No. 1 started circulating, and that's where it clicked for me. Forget romance, this was a song about a stuck-up goth chick. Then I pocked up the Bloody Kisses cd, and laughed my ass off at all the ridiculous liner notes. Peter hoping civilization forgives him for making this "atrocity". Keyboardist Josh Silver leaving his thank you's intentionally blank. The band as nuns. That sick humor would continue into their next release, as the fist track of October Rust was the sound of the cd skipping.

It was in this humor that I found just how good of songwriters the band was. While I passed on it at first, Christian Woman really was a great anthem, especially after I found out the true meaning of the song. For those not in the know, it's about a religious woman who diddles herself while pretending she's getting busy with Jesus. Not necessarily radio material, as it was heavily edited for the airwaves. But the paex of their creativity was in two doses. October Rust still gets regular plays from me, and their last cd, Dead Again, is not only great, but frighteningly accurate. One of the lines from the title track is, "I can't believe I died last night/Oh my God I'm dead again." That's just creepy and genius at the same time.

I think what I'll remember Peter Steele for is his quick wit and his willingness to offend as many people around him as possible, even when he has to be the butt of the joke. In remembrance, hit the jump to hear Peter rip himself and everyone else around him a new one.

So long, Peter. If there's an afterlife, I hope you're giving Jesus a wedgie right now.

P.S.: In trying to find a decent photo of the man, I kept running into pics of the man with his hardened member on display, thanks to a photo shoot Peter did for Playgirl many years ago. I think he'd find that hilarious.

Rest In Peace, Mr. Steele

I was about to crash for the night, and decided to check the net one last time, and I read some very sad news. Peter Steele, lead vocals and bassist for Type O Negative, passed away yesterday from congestive heart failure. There's a lot I want to type about the man, but that will have to wait until the morning. Just a ton of thoughts circling my head right now.

Fuck, and he was 48. That's just too young to go.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

YAY! Day off!

Okay, maybe I shouldn't be too excited about having the day off the job today. It' still gonna be filled with a ton of crap to do. Laundry, cleaning the homestead, a shitload of running around. Somewhere along the line today, I also plan on devouring on of those KFC Double Downs that everyone warns me will kill me upon the first bite. Makes me wonder if the large combo also comes with a pro-bono lawyer to help with your last will and testament.

Long story short, the second I publish this, I gotta get started on all that good stuff, and as such, won't be around the computer much at all today. So, to at least give you all a little bit of entertainment, here's some stand-up comedy that's totally awesome.





Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Airbourne Drummer Ryan O'Keefe speaks on games and metal (no shit)


 
I recently sent some questions Airbourne drummer Ryan O'Keefe's way, bugging him about his take on Australia, videogames, metal, and drumming. His responses, like his music, are pretty damn straightforward. It's a good thing.

GMM-You guys obviously have a classic rock style of song making, but are there any old videogames with not-so-rock soundtracks you dug?

RO-Not that I can remember. Probably not.


GMM-I've heard you used to make up songs for games like Road Rash when you were younger, are there any videogames out now you would want to give the same treatment? Maybe Airbourne could have its own Need for Speed OST or something?

RO-Let's just remake road rash and chuck some airbourne in and tear it up.


It's nice knowing when to request a day off of work a year ahead of time.

My renewed Gamefly account kicked in yesterday, as a copy of Mass Effect 2 landed on my doorstep. While this meant that I could finally resume being a polite badass in space, it also meant that I totally whiffed on watching Jimmy Fallon. Cliff Bleszinski, main programmer guy at Epic Games, stopped by the show and revealed Gears of War 3 to the world. While no gameplay was shown, there was the premiere of a teaser trailer, as well as the release dates: April 5, 2011 in North America and Asia, April 7 in Japan, and April 8 in Europe and the rest of the world.

Speaking of that teaser, take a gander below:

Monday, April 12, 2010

Congrats on freedom, Darkest Hour. Now go have some schnapps!


Victory Records has had quite a shady history. Not paying artists their advances, not supplying proper promo gear, signing Hawthorne Heights, quite a few bad things. many an artist has laid the badmouth on Victory's owner, Tony Brummel, and compared him more to being a mafia boss than a label guy. It was Tony's attitude that made their first gold mine, Hatebreed, leave the label to pursue greener pastures. I got to experience this myself when trying to arrange some promotional stuff for my place of business. Instead, I was being pushed into doing cd sales just so they could up their sales. Word of note, guys: cd's don't sell at pizza stores!

Looks like another band has earned their freedom, as label long stays Darkest Hour have completed their contract with the music mafia and have gone over to E1 Music. E1 has been grabbing up a bunch of established bands the past couple of years which is a smart strategy. Established bands have larger fan bases and thus more disposable income. Plus, E1 pays a little more per cd sold, so more cash in the artist's pocket. Oh, and no threats of sleeping wit da fishes, so that's a good thing.

In celebration, take a listen to Darkest Hour's Sadist Nation.

Riff Tries To Annoy Truth Corroded's Jason North, Fails Miserably

(Holy schneikies! It's our first interview ever! Lead vocalist Jason North for Australia's Truth Corroded (whose last album, Upon The Warlord's Crawl, got a good tounguebath from yours truly), took the time from his busy schedule of being all metal and stuff to answer a few questions. Thanks to Alex from Team All About The Music for setting this up, and to Jason himself for not chucking a boomerang at our heads for asking a bunch of nerdy questions. Okay, read on!)
 
GMM- Can you give us a quick recap of the band's history, for the U.S. metalheads who might not know you?

JN-We are an extreme Thrash band from South Australia that started out as a four piece and then later reformed as a five piece in 2003. We have had a few line up changes along the way but the main base of Truth Corroded has always been Mark Lennard (who formed the band) on guitars, Greg Shaw on bass and Myself on Vocals. Musically our influences are metal bands from the late 80’s early 90’s thrash / death era - Sepultura, Testament, Dark Angel, Kreator, Forbidden, Vio-lence, Malevolent Creation etc mixed in with some more diverse and current bands like Neurosis, Behemoth, Lamb of God, Misery Index, Napalm Death etc. These influences help create what we call the Truth Corroded sound.

GMM-You guys have done some pretty expansive touring in the Pacific rim. Does it get exhausting doing all that ocean hopping?

JN-Personally I love touring, its one of the main reasons why we play music, I love seeing other places in the world, meeting up with some great new friends, new fans and seeing new cultures. The travelling side of things can sometimes suck but when you know there is something  new and great waiting for you its all worth it.

8-bit Metal Mondays: Imagine Something Written In Finnish Here

Hoooo baby, am I excited for this Wednesday! I just got my ticket for the Finnish Metal Tour, featuring Finntroll, Moonsorrow, and Swallow the Sun. Not only is this my first visit to the new mecha of Detroit metal concerts, Blondie's, but it'll be my first time seeing all of these acts. I'm most excited for the headliners, Finntroll. It's takes a special breed of performer to get on stage and look like you're about to slay a bunch of wild ogres. Or, in some cases, dress up like said ogres. And do all this while being METAL!!!!

Anywho, in early celebration, here's a bleepy version of Finntroll's Trollhammaren.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Retro Review: Astro-Creep 2000

Retro Reviews is an idea I pitched to the rest of the GMM writers some time ago, and then completely forgot about it. I thought it would be worthwhile to dig up some of our favourite albums and "Re-Review" them for some of the new metal listeners that haven't heard of this stuff. I went through a bunch of iconic band's discographies to find some special anniversary dates for some of metal's greatest albums. I gave the list to the rest of the guys and there's a lot of good stuff that will be celebrating an anniversary later this year. So keep your eyes and ears open, because if you missed this stuff the first time around, you should really give it a listen if you're looking for something new. Check out my review of White Zombie's Astro-Creep 2000, which was released on this day 15 years ago!

Unholy Sabbath Sundays - Dio Edition

Ridonkulously operatic midget that according to the documentary A Headbanger's Journey may have invented the symbol for rock n' roll (devil horns or what you may) and apparently follows Gene Simmons' unnecessary copyright lawsuits, Dio was the voice of Black Sabbath before the Prince of Darkness was chewing the heads off Joker nemeses. Without further ado, let's celebrate his godly voice with the mostly bass-driven Heaven and Hell.



Happy Sabbath everyone!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Oceans' Heliocentric: Another disturbying review


This is The Ocean's fourth album which is set to be released on Metal Blade records on April 13th. Heliocentric is the first of two albums set to be released this year. The other is titled Anthropocentric and is scheduled for a November release. I have never heard of The Ocean and when Riff gave it to me to review all he said was "Give this a listen!" so I had no idea what to expect. Unfortunately, I cannot compare this album to their previous releases so if there are some die hard The Ocean fans reading this I can't answer your "Is it as good as ALBUM TITLE?" question. The record is a concept album and the story/theme is about the rise of the heliocentric world (Earth is round and revolves around the sun). The band uses a number of bible verses as their inspiration as well as the studies of Charles Darwin and Richard Dawkins. If you want more info on the album you can go to the Metal Blade page to check it out. And, as always, check out my impressions of the record after the jump.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Super Metroid Metal IRL

Here's a stunning documentary of one of my least impressive runs of Super Metroid. Music courtesy of Stemage

Helping Reclaim My Prestige With The Operation!

Alrighty, let's set the way-back machine to the end of 2008 to help set this one up. The recession had us all gripped by the balls, and I was no different. My pay and hours were cut at work, I couldn't pay my bills, and I needed a quick influx of cash STAT or I was gonna have utilities turning off on me at a rapid pace. Thus began the Great Gaming Console Exile of 2008, as I had to give up quite a bit of my collection just to stay warm during the winter. Man, those cuts were deep. The 360, Wii, Ds, and PSP all went the way of shitty commerce. In hindsight, I probably should of also sold my PS3, but I paid for that sucker back when it was still $500, and I just couldn't part with that much of an investment in my entertainment.

Now let's jump ahead a bit to May 2009. I got through the worst of the bust, and worked myself back up to my old pay and hours. Now I had a new goal: reclaim my old gaming prestige. Thus began the Great Gaming Console Salvage Operation, which is still going on today. To start, I had to be cheap. First was getting a PS2 when they dipped in price to $100. Then I bought a very well used first generation PSP off a guy from work for $50. In time, I was able to get a new Xbox 360. All my save games may have gone the way of the dodo, but I was able to retrieve all my Live downloads, so I say it's a wash. For awhile there, I was content. Nintendo just wasn't releasing anything to tickle my junk over.

Poser or Powerhouse? Airbourne - No Guts No Glory




If rock n' roll was to stay the same forever, in theory I think I'd get bored with it; in practice, Airbourne reminds me that when done right, loud and fast riffing about drug addiction, hot women, and overcoming working class hardships will always kick ass. This band has been compared to AC/DC more times by more people than I can count (including myself) and the comparison is deserved in terms of style despite Airbourne having a bit more speed and a singer that's quite a bit smoother than their predecessor's recent efforts. Why anyone thinks that's a bad thing, I will never know because Airbourne's classic rock n' roll style is just what I want to hear in a sea of depressing new wave shit.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Fear Factory's "Mechanize": Evan's Review


“Demanufacture” is the Fear Factory album. Every successive release (including the commendable “Obsolete” and “Archetype”) have paled in comparison to the futuristic metal that defined FF's 1995 masterwork. Obligatory flirtings with nu-metal, and the loss of riff-architect Dino Cazares kept these guys from ever quite getting back to that perfect mix of industrial sounds, mechanical riffs and memorable hooks.

A b-day show on April Fools, and not a prank in sight.


The Dillinger Escape Plan, Darkest Hour, Iwrestledabearonce, and Animals As Leaders
Thursday, April 1st at The Eagle Theater 

So, my big b-day was March 30th. 34, if you're wondering. As is such with any old fart's birthday, I don't do anything great. Hell, I worked for a good portion of the day! But all was not lost, for I had tix to see DEP and a bunch of other good bands, so my time slaving away for the gods of commerce would not be wasted. No April Fools pranks either, and thank Satan for that. I woulda been one pissed off fat guy if they joked about a canceled show.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Wait, could something finally be brewing for Ozzfest?!?!

I've been keeping tabs on the metal news tickers lately for anything about this year's Ozzfest. I've also been checking the official website, bugging people in the biz I know (all two of them), and praying to our dark lord Satan for any little tidbits of info. Well, Finally, it looks like some nuggets may have fallen! On Ozzfest's main web page, the "Band" page listing had been a placeholder for the uber line-up for the 2008 Texas show. It is now mysteriously blank. Tradition generally means that if the page goes blank, then an announcement is forthcoming. About damn time too!

Also, some hints have fallen about a few second stage bands. First, Dirge Within have posted this photo on their Myspace:
Yeah, it looks cheesy as all hell, but if it's on the band's Myspace page, then that's as good as an official announcement as we're gonna get for now. There's also chit chat of 36 Crazyfists being on the bill, but that's from the Ozzfest forums, so take that with an entire salt mine.

Still no news as to potential main stage acts, but I'll throw one out there: As I Lay Dying. They have a new album coming out real soon, and their current tour (which is all second market venues, coincidentally) ends right before the summer concert season kicks in. I'd say they just became one hella candidate.

An official announcement has to be made soon, because if we wait any longer, the whole thing's gonna be half over before we even see a press release! Okay, I'm over exaggerating, but I'm just getting tired of playing "dream booker" and want something concrete. Today would be nice.....

Monday, April 5, 2010

Kevin Smith look-a-like gets a sweet gig.

Just received a press release about a comedian that I never heard of, Big Jay Oakerson, will be a "master of ceremonies" for Korn's upcoming Jagermeister tour, as well as for the Mayhem festival. Now for me, tidbits like this are a blessing. I love stand-up comedy, and any opportunity to catch a new act, be it at a club or through Youtube, I jump at. I was raised on a healthy collection of George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and Monty Python, so I like to believe I have a good sense of what's funny and what's just a Carlos Mencia wanna-be.

So, I popped on over to Youtube to check out this guy, and you know what? Dude ain't too bad.... as long as his material stays in the R-rated area. Clean comedy is not Jay's strong point. Dude needs to stick to the f-bombs and sex through holes in the sheets and he'll do fine. Since the crowd he'll be performing in front of is down with the filthy language, I think he'll do fine.

Hit the jump to watch a couple of clips in action. Be warned that the stuff is very NSFW!!!!

8-bit Metal Mondays: DEP's pretty bleepy to begin with.

Lucky bastard that I am, I was able to attend this past Thursday's Dillinger Escape Plan, and as always, they were gloriously hectic. Strobe lights, climbing onto amp stacks and jumping off, spastic guitar playing, all the things you've come to know DEP for. Now I finding myself listening to anything DEP-related for the past several days, even going out and picking up their latest release, Option Paralysis, just a little bit ago today.

And now, it's time to throw my current addiction your way. Here's the bleepy version of Unretrofied.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Brian Posehn's Fart and Wiener Jokes: Another disturbying review

The hairless yeti returns with his second live comedy album, Fart and Wiener Jokes set to be released on April 27th on Relapse Records. I gotta say, I have been a big fan of Posehn since seeing him as the lowly mail clerk in Just Shoot Me. Yeah, the David Spade sitcom. Then I started to notice him in reruns of NewsRadio and Mr. Show, but it wasn't until his Metal By Numbers music video did I realize how much of a metal head he was. He hosted Revolver's Golden God awards a year or so ago and was pretty entertaining. I like listening to comedy routines, so I was really looking forward to reviewing this album for the site. Unfortunately, the album left me feeling as if something was missing. Check out my full impressions after the jump:

Friday, April 2, 2010

A quickie post before the morning caffeine kicks in.

The above cd cover for Kivimetsen Druidi's newest cd has been making the rounds on the evil metal interwebs this morning. Metalsucks and Reign in Blonde have already weighed in with their impressions:

1. The cover clearly matches their folk/pagan metal influences
2. Srsly

That second one is a direct quote.

My take? Apart from looking rather ridiculous and incorrect (according to their Myspace page, their female lead singer is a blonde, NOT a warrior redhead), but that castle in the background looks like it came from a copy of Oblivion. No joke either. I played that game a fucking ton, and I'm betting right now that that building is a location in the game! Can somebody PLEASE call developers Bethesda and check the legalities on this?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Never a dull time for nudity and violence.

Got a feeling it's gonna be a sslllllooooooowwwwww news day. What with every site out there pulling April Fools jokes out of there asses like it's the wittiest thing since wit was invented. On top of that, I'm bailing early so I can go catch Dillinger Escape Plan tonight outside the city limits. So, expect pics of insanity and possibly the occasional crackhead!

One little tidbit that crossed my path is that The Deciblog is hosting the premiere of Lair of the Minotaur's new video for Evil Power.  I just watched the whole thing, and now I wanna play God of War III all over again. It's blood and boobs and Greek monsters ahoy! Before you go on over and take a look for yourself, just know that the whole video is VERY NSFW! Well, not like you couldn't tell that from the preceding sentence and all, but still.

Sufficiently warned enough? Okay then, go click away!!!