Games Meet Metal: Riff's Predictions for E3's Big Ass Press Conferences

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Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Riff's Predictions for E3's Big Ass Press Conferences

The E3 press conferences are kind of like the pre-game show to any NFL game: a dissemination of each team's big plays and a preview to their game plans the next day. The main conferences (Sony, Nintendo, and Microsoft) pretty much lay the main groundwork for the whole event, with all the third party publishers building around them. As it is every year, half the fun is predicting what the big guns are gonna be. While a few third parties are holding their own PR events, we're just gonna concentrate on the big 3 for now, starting with:

Love the Kinect. Feel the Kinect.- Microsoft's gonna push their no-controller doohickey down our throats for a second year in a row, thanks to the ungodly amount of moolah it pulled down when it was released. Hey, capitolism and all, so I understand. It's just that they're not gonna be able to back it up with quality games. i know everyone is talking of a Kinect Star Wars game, but the Wii already did that, and it wasn't too great then.

Going more "family entertainey."- A recent press release says that the 360 is going to be building more on video media, as recent studies show more people are using their 360 for movies than gaming. Last year, we got something resembling ESPN. This year, I'll go out on a limb and say that Microsoft and the Disney Channel have struck up a deal to get the kids more sucked in. I'm not joking either.

3rd Party rules, MS drools: You have to give Microsoft one thing: they sure don't mind letting their buddies grab the spotlight. Last year, MS's press conference began with unseen footage from COD: Black Op's single player campaign. This year, expect Activision to 1up themselves, and give footage of Modern Warfare 3's campaign to open yet again. Also expect the 3rd party love to be all-encomposing. As far as stuff from MS themselves, well, um....... Halo remake, maybe?

May the ass kissing begin-Honestly, there's gonna be so much puckering up, that the whole of California is gonna run out of lipstick. With the PSN supposedly finally getting it's much needed full restart this week, Sony's gonna have to start with the lip smacking the second they hit the stage. There's just no way around the hacking issue, so expect this one to be tackled right from the get go. Maybe Kevin Butler can be the new VP of giving all PSN users a smooch on the butt cheek.

Behold, the NGP!- Behold that huge price tag! Sorry peeps, but I just don't see this thing being price matched to the 3DS, nor do I expect it to come close. There's just too damn much packed into that thing. At least the games will look quite nice.

PS2 compatibility with PS3-And I'll keep predicting this one until it becomes reality or the PS4 pops up. Honestly, it's god damn time for it. The PS2 won't sell forever, and there's so many games that companies could be making money on again if they were offered for download. Plus, it would be something to grease the palms of beliguered PSN users affected by the hack. Of course, I predict this every year, and I come up short. Consider this one way out there.

Project Cafe will make Nintendo lose money-Every console that Nintendo has put out, they made sure that they made a few bucks on every one of those sold. Even as far back as the NES, they were making money per console sale. That's unlike Sony and Microsoft, who make a loss on their consoles to start. If Project Cafe turns out to be as funky with the technology as everyone says it is, then the Big N may change their strategy for console sales. It may not matter too much to the bottom line, as the Wii was based off Gamecube hardware, and made  Nintendo gazillions of dollars. So, it could end up just being a wash.

The new Zelda BETTER come out for the Wii-Why? Because there ain't jack shit coming out in the near future at all. Go ahead and look at Gamestop's Wii release list, and you'll see that it's looking pretty damn bleak. Unless there's an ass ton of game's being announced at E3 (doubt it), then there may be a mass of people trading in their Wii's very soon.

The 3DS will have redemption- Wow, what a lousy launch the 3DS had. Not that the system was bad, but the games that were available were bottom shelf shit. That'll change this year, as a ton of that 3rd party support promised last year will finally be shown in playable detail. Not to mention Nintendo will finally punch out the system's first Mario title. Oh, and a real release date on Kid Icarus would be nice too.

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